Full disclosure: I follow popular culture (to a degree) because I am the mom of teenage boys. I also work with teenagers. I actively discourage them from getting their values or understanding of themselves from entertainers or the art ( I use that term liberally) these entertainers produce. I remember being a teenager in the early nineties, aka-the age of the illicit love affair. The airwaves were awash with singers crooning about a secret romance that was so wrong but felt right. The songs were hauntingly compelling, like sirens luring an entire generation into the abyss of relational ruin.
But there is always that one artistic expression that gets it right.
When Beyonce dropped the female empowerment anthem Put a Ring On It, she was not suggesting that a woman’s worth was to be found in a relationship with a man. She was acknowledging that women have every right to determine the trajectory of their romantic relationships. Enough of the rudderless, meandering arrangements with no discernable future. The song struck a cord with single women everywhere, because it defined the problem and clearly laid out the solution. A woman should not wait indefinitely for a man to make up his mind. She should know her value and pursue better options.
My father would tell his teenage daughters: When a man wants a plaything he gets a dog. When a man wants a companion, he gets a wife. Be no man’s concubine.
A concubine? I cringed every time he said it. All my friends had cool fathers. My fundamentalist preacher Daddy spoke in King James English. But as I got older, I found myself embracing Daddy’s wisdom that was firmly grounded in Scripture. Who knew that an old time pentecostal preacher and Queen Bey could have something in common?
All my stories are about the dignity of marriage. Not that every woman needs to be married to find value and worth. I absolutely reject that idea. But the men in my stories marry their women, and women settle for nothing less than covenant. They find pleasure in marriage. They might struggle sometimes, but in the end, marital covenant and love always wins! Whether you begin with my debut novel A Suitable Woman, or my newest release, Coming Home; you will find edgy, inspirational stories of women who know their worth and men who love them.